Last year we were supposed to go to the US on July 15th for almost 6 weeks of a summer vacation.

A month before we were due to fly, I got a call from the landlord, telling us they wanted us out by the middle of August and they didn't want to renew our lease. Well, technically we didn't HAVE a lease, but they didn't want to rent to us.

Needless to say, we were all upset. The landlords refused to rent to us until November, even though we were willing to pay the higher price they were asking (we soon found out they were under pressure from certain Yishuv members to get us out of the Yishuv for reasons still unknown to us).

We had to cancel our vacation and instead of simply packing for a trip abroad, I now had to pack up an entire house. And find a place to live.

We were all devastated about the canceled trip and I grew depressed. And I knew that as July 15th arrived, my depression would worsen. So would my stress levels.

While all this was going on, my husband and I decided that after our move, we would get back on the fertility treatment wagon and go through the process of trying for another child. See, I suffer from PCOS and our son was the result of a year of fertility treatments. Of getting up at the butt-crack of dawn to head in to Jerusalem twice a week for uncomfortable ultrasounds of my uterus and ovaries and blood tests to check hormone levels. Of injecting myself with hormones until I was black and blue. Of having to arrange to be in Jerusalem overnight for the IUI because you only have an hour window of opportunity from the ah.. 'collection' to when the sperm needs to be at the clinic for cleaning. And the dreaded 2 week wait until you can take a pregnancy blood test. The only silver lining was that at 9 months postpartum, despite nursing full time, I had gotten my period on my own for the first time in 5 years (sorry if this is TMI). And I'd been fairly regular, although I had no way of knowing if I was ovulating.

So with the move and canceling a much needed vacation and weaning a child who had no interest in weaning (breast feeding can affect a woman's fertility) and the logistics of treatments with a toddler, I was severely stressed and depressed. And I knew that when July 15th came around, at some point in the day, I'd find myself in the shower, crying.

On the evening of July 13th, I mentioned to my husband that I 'was late', but since my cycles were always erratic, I wasn't particularly worried or excited. He said he'd go to the pharmacy the next day and get a home pregnancy test. I smiled and nodded and decided to humor him. See, one way many of us cope with infertility is at some point we accept the fact that if we want to have children, we need the extra help of medical professionals. The idea of getting pregnant 'on our own' stops entering our minds because the hope and then disappointment is often too much to bear.

It is recommended to use 'first morning pee' for these tests so I figured July 15th would be the day I find out that once again, I'm simply late.

At 3 a.m. The 14 month old woke to nurse and afterwards, since I needed the bathroom, I took the test. If I had known it would be positive, I would have waited and I would at least have gotten 3 or so more hours of sleep. I refused to believe the plus sign. I couldn't wrap my head around the plus sign. In a daze, I woke my husband up (sort of) and told him I took the test and it was positive. He mumbled something about being good news and rolled over and went back to bed. At first I wasn't sure if he'd heard me. I simply got back into bed and tried to sleep and tried to process the news and failed miserably at both.

Needless to say, I canceled the appointment with the fertility specialist and made an appointment with the OB.

And at some point on July 15th, I found myself in the shower crying. In shocked happiness.

Here we are to this summer. In addition to a yummy toddler, I'm nursing a delicious almost 4 month old. Once again we've had to cancel our summer plans to go to the US because the landlord's family is miserable where they are and they're moving back. So after a few minutes of panic, I went online and after a harried 2 weeks search, we signed a TWO YEAR lease on a pretty little row house duplex. For less than what we're paying now. Ironically, we're moving on July 15th this year.

I wonder what August 4th will bring this year... You can be sure I'll be playing the lotto that day.

In the world of infertility (IF), you've basically got two classifications of people. You have those suffering from Primary IF (PIF), who have no children and for a myriad of different reasons (some unexplained) need medical intervention in varying degrees to become pregnant and sustain a pregnancy.

For a PIFer, the hope is to graduate (sooner, rather than later) to Secondary IF (SIF) – the group of people who have at least one child. There are even a lucky few who leave the world of IF altogether. For some reason that first successful pregnancy 'fixes' whatever the issue was.

But then there are those of us who are only technical SIFers. We have one or two (or more) children conceived naturally, carried to term and born healthy, but at some point after we realize that 3 years have passed and we're not pregnant. So we begin the journey of IF. Technically SIF (with a diagnosed issue), but with a PIFers naivete.

With the advances in medicine, I have to wonder... how many women, who consider themselves technical SIFers, are really experiencing infertility at all. I mean, who among us as a child wasn't convinced at some point in their life they were dying of some rare disease because they exhibited 'all the signs' and instead just had oh... mild food poisoning, a cold....

The 29 year old mother of 3 children between the ages of 5 and 2 years, who is still breast feeding the 2 year old and has had 3 miscarriages in the the past 18 months, dealing with a number of severe stresses and admits that stress affects her hormones... is she a SIFer, or is she just not listening to her body telling her to “take a break”.

The 36 year old mother of 5 children between the ages of 14 and 4 years... is she a SIFer, or is her body just telling her that she's done.

Is a woman who first starts trying to have children at age 40 and has nothing to show for it 5 years later considered PIF, or just.. well... old and past child bearing.

I'm not saying that my suffering and heartache is greater because I have a diagnosis and actually have an issue. Nor am I saying that I'm insulted there are women who consider themselves part of this 'club', but are really poseurs, although I will admit it annoys me to a degree.

The internet age in which we live in has made many people better informed as patients. I'm just wondering if some of us are too informed.

Tracey Tyler
LEGAL AFFAIRS REPORTER

Twin sisters born premature and severely disabled after their mother was prescribed a fertility drug have no right to sue her doctor for damages, the Ontario Court of Appeal has ruled.

But Karley and Kaylin Bovingdon – along with their parents, big sister and grandmother – will still benefit from an $8.6 million settlement agreement struck with a Sault Ste. Marie obstetrician on the eve of the appeal hearing, which left the court wrestling with the contentious issue of "wrongful life" claims.

"I'm thrilled. It's a relief," Carrie Bovingdon, the girls' mother, said yesterday, adding that some of the money has already been used to obtain 24-hour nursing care for Karley, who is blind, quadriplegic and can't speak. Kaylin is paraplegic and uses a wheelchair.

The case dates back to 1992, in the months before the twins were born. Bovingdon was prescribed the fertility drug Clomid by Dr. Paul Hergott. Just over a year ago, an Ontario Superior Court jury found Hergott negligent for failing to provide Bovingdon with accurate information about her chances of conceiving twins while on the drug.

Jurors concluded Hergott had misled Bovingdon by telling her there was a 3 to 5 per cent higher risk of twins, when the risk was really 10 per cent greater. Carrying twins also increased the chances Bovingdon's children would be born prematurely, which in itself led to a higher risk for birth defects.

I wonder if they were using 1992 statistics and not 2007 numbers. And once it was determined she was carrying twins, if she was so worried about defects, why didn't she opt for a selective abortion - and yes, I realize that has its own risk.

Bovingdon, meanwhile, testified that Hergott never mentioned risks at all; had she known they existed, she would never have taken the drug.

Hergott appealed. Even though a settlement was reached, the appeal was heard anyway, with the precise amount contingent on the outcome.

The twins' lawyers argued the girls had a right to "a drug-free conception, with a reduced risk of disability."

While Hergott breached his duty to Carrie Bovingdon by not providing the details needed to make an informed decision about taking the drug, he owned no duty of care to the unborn children of a woman wishing to become pregnant, said Feldman, drawing a parallel to abortion.

"The appellant's duty to his patient, the mother, was to help her become pregnant if possible and to provide her with all the information she needed to decide whether to take fertility medication," Feldman said. "Once she had the information, it was entirely her choice to take the Clomid. She was not obliged to act in the best interests of a future child or children or to make the choice they would want. ... This is similar to a mother's right to choose whether to have an abortion."

Hergott's lawyers argued the jury's verdict was "perverse" and the twins were, in effect, seeking damages for "wrongful life," a claim not recognized in Canadian law, though courts around the world have struggled with the issue.

In England, some have ruled that compensating a person for being alive is contrary to public policy. And putting a dollar value on not being born is nearly impossible.

But some American courts have ruled these philosophical issues should not deny families the right to go to court and seek compensation to offset the costs of caring for disabled children.

So it's... "I didn't ask to be conceived or born, someone has to pay"?

I understand that in recent years there's been an alarming trend of doctors - OB/GYNs prescribing Clomid out of hand to women who have 'difficulty' conceiving ("my husband and I have been trying for 3/6/12 months and nothing") or carrying a pregnancy, rather than referring them to an RE for proper diagnosis and monitored treatment. In addition, a large number of women, armed with information gleaned from the internet, are ignored by their doctors when they have legitimate complaints (women with PCOS are often told by their doctors "well, lose weight and you'll get pregnant" or "lose weight and then I'll treat you" not realizing that weight gain and the inability to lose the weight are symptoms of PCOS and often treatment needs to begin before weightloss can start).